i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
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