so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
Randomize
