I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
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