i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Randomize
