my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
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