Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize
