Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
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