If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
then he tried to convert me to islam
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
