Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
Randomize
