i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
our cab driver is having phone sex.
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
Randomize
