The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
