ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
You made out with two different species that night
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
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