Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
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