Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
