That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
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