My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
i dont even know how to be here
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
