Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
Randomize
