bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Randomize