will power is for people who don't want to get laid
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
