How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Randomize
