Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
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