Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
Randomize
