Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
Randomize
