anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
Randomize
