she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
the day after is always just damage control
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
Randomize
