Reason #84 I'm on my way to becoming a crazy cat lady: I called the police last night because I heard a noise and the cats were acting funny like they were trying to tell me something. The 3rd time the dispatcher repeated "the cats are acting funny?" I yelled and told her to have an officer ask the cats what happened.
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
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