I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
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