She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
you sent me 5 happy birthday texts last night. one after the other. spelled differently.
you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
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