yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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