He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
Randomize
