You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
Randomize