You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
