May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
Say something about gay babies.
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
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