Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Randomize
