Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
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