You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize
