I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
