She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
Randomize
