Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
Randomize
