So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
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