My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
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We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
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Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
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