Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
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