i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
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