Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
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