ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
only you would photoshop your dick
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
Randomize
