he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
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