just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Randomize
