Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
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