Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
Whatcha textin bout Willis?
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
Randomize
