he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
it glows. i had to have it.
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
Randomize
