Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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