i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize