There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
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