Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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