i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Randomize
