I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
Randomize
