If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
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