I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize