Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
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