Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
Naked Twister starts at high noon
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
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