she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize