got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
Randomize
