I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
Randomize
