I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
