so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
Randomize
