whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
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had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
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I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
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