I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
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