Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
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